i know i say it multiple times a day. i know i tell you those three words enough. i even think it twice as many times, and believe it ten fold. but i sometimes fall short and only manage to show you half of the way i feel.
you asked me if i truly do and all i could do is speak into the phone and hope the words were enough. but words could never fulfill describing the depth of my love for you.
i believe all love is like a river. when it rains from our hearts during the wet seasons of life- it flows boundlessly and the cascades of water crash against the rocks and trees within our way. the rapid stream digs into the earth and creates a course for our passion to follow. but during times of drought, when things may go wrong, or the heat of the day becomes too much…our fondness sometimes evaporates and begins to condense into thousands of tiny droplets-just out of reach and of no use to our tributary.
but my feelings for you are not confined to the cycle of rainwater.
no, when i say that i love you…i mean that i have, that i do, that i will-forever. even when we may become dry, unable to float atop of our affection, i still will love you. for i know that though emotions may change, moods may come and go, boulders may take time to erode, the seasons turnover, and life happens. i know these things in my mind, but i also know more in my heart. i know that i love you, and that though our rivers height may rise and fall upon the banks, the pass that it has dug into my life will never fade. my love for you does not depend upon anything other than what it has already carved out in my heart. like a lasting gorge engraved into my being, it will remain. and whether it be overflowing with abundance or parched and arid like the desert sand, in the light of day or in the night’s blinding darkness, i shall always be able to follow its path. for it is carved deeper than any path that i have ever known. and one day it will be bottomless with no means to escape. but unlike a haunting canyon, we will have no want to leave its confine. our love, our continuous river will have dug it out for us so that we may have safety from the storms, faith in our way, sureness in our direction, loyalty in our course, and trust in the deep, deep veins of our hearts.
so i have told you many times today,
i have thought it over eighty,
and i have tried to tell you (in words) the way,
that i feel about you baby.
but i think it may be hopeless, and i cannot speak outside of metaphors- i must use representatives, and symbols to try and explain what i know within my soul because no words exist that could truly give my love justice. i know that i cannot only use words to tell you, show you, or cause you to believe…but i will never stop.
i do not want to.
because whether i am floating atop its waves, wading through its slush,
or trekking across the barren dust,
i will always have you by my side.
and i love you.